1. Keep Yourself Sacred – Setting healthy boundaries is very empowering. If you don’t have to be around certain people then by all means, don’t do it. However, there are times in our lives when we pretty much have no choice.
One of the practices that I have put into place that helps me is keeping myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my dreams, and my beliefs sacred. I hold myself sacred now and work on keeping myself a zone of peace no matter what others are doing.
For example, after years of suppression, I went through a phase where I was sharing anything and everything with most people. It was basically the pendulum swinging from one side to the other. This included how I was feeling, my beliefs, why I did what I did, and so on. I went through a major anger phase when I realized that what I was sharing was not being respected, was being judged all over, scrutinized, and just being downright misunderstood.
When I really began to look at this, I realized that it was important for me to hold myself sacred more, and that I don’t have to share things with people who just don’t get it or who will criticize me. I could, but I choose not to anymore. I will no longer give them all of me because they cannot handle all of me. They’re too lost in their judgmental mind to see what I am saying.
If people legitimately want to hear what I have to say, care, and give a damn, and I know that they won’t scathe me in their thoughts and words later, then I am willing to share. Otherwise, I keep myself sacred and we can just talk about the weather.
Yes, there is something powerful about sharing yourself with anyone and everyone and not giving a hoot about what they think. Very powerful indeed. For me, however, this practice that I'm writing about is quite empowering as well. Those with the eyes to see, the ears to listen, and the hearts to give a damn will be the ones that I choose to share with.
2. Make Sure That You Aren’t One of Them – Something else that I have looked at is how I do those same things that bother me. How do I judge and criticize others? Am I an energy vampire at times? When I really became aware of this, I noticed how I have these tendencies in my own life. Don’t feel bad when you notice that you do. Be happy that you’re becoming aware of it. I know that I am.
3. Stay Calm, Centered, and Nonreactive – Perhaps someone you know really enjoys getting a rise out of you, or are maybe just freaking clueless about how they’re behaving. Whatever it is, be firm and direct, look them in the eye, say what you need to say in a clear, calm way, and then move on. I'm talking about just having general conversation here, not necessarily confronting them with an issue, although this is useful then, too.
Be matter of fact and speak of the issues at hand, stay present and grounded and communicate from a space of peace and calm. This will keep you solid and in your own power.
4. Send Them Your Love, Prayers, and Blessings – Last, but certainly not least is to send the haters in your life, the haters of the world, and the people who you just downright don’t want to be around, your love, prayers, and blessings. While this may be hard for many of us, it is actually very empowering to do, and healing as well.
I enjoy visualizing people feeling peaceful and happy. Since our thoughts are energy, this is way more productive than sending them hate. By the way, this doesn't mean that you become best friends with that person; you’re just sending them some goodness while you set boundaries for yourself.
This is what has worked for me, so give it a try in your own life. There will always be difficult people in our lives. Whether it’s the jerk in traffic, or a co-worker, what really matter is learning how to work with the situation and making it a source of empowerment for yourself instead of a source of pain.